Helping the Bereaved during the Holidays
Holiday time can be especially challenging for people who have suffered a loss during the year. As a friend, you can help.
Pick up the phone
Please call your friend. Too often people invite the bereaved to call them
because they do not want to intrude, or because they feel awkward and do not
know what to say. This places the burden on the person who has suffered a loss.
The bereaved do not always have the energy to reach out for help when they need
it. Take the initiative. The call can be short and simple. Even a quick
hello during the holiday season can make a difference.
Holidays and special days
Don’t forget to call your friend on the special day. It feels
good to know that someone remembers with you. Some people want the company of
family and friends during the holidays. Others may prefer quiet time alone.
Offer your support and companionship, but understand that, at times, it may not
be wanted.
Even if you think it’s too soon after the death to invite your friend to a special event, extend the invitation anyway; it feels better to be invited and decline than to be left out altogether. Consider extending an invitation to accompany the bereaved to worship.
Be specific
Sometimes the bereaved have a hard time making decisions. You can help by
narrowing the choices or making some decisions/suggestions yourself. "We're
getting together to watch the big game this weekend. Why don't you come over?"
or, "Let’s go to El Jamon Grande for lunch. Why don’t you wear your brown suit?
You look so
nice in that."
During and after this holiday season, make time for a bereaved friend. A short phone call or visit, particularly at this time of year, can mean a lot to someone who is going through the grieving process.
Thanks to The Neal Center for Griefwork and Healing in
Bloomingdale, Illinois, for their contributions to this article.